My 2 Cents

It's really hard to absorb an event like this. Images of violence have become so commonplace in our lives to the point where we're numb. And then it explodes on our front doorstep in a place that should have been safe---a classroom turned into a war zone. Everyone at my office keeps saying "nowhere is safe anymore." And I just keep wondering what darkened this guy's vision of life so much that this was the only path he could take? How do we pull people like that away from the edge and back into society?

The search for blame is inevitable: who didn't see or act on the warning signs? Was it violent video games and movies that caused it? Is it the handgun laws? How did his parents treat him? It's just part of our culture to assign the guilt somewhere. But the only meaningful question here is "how do we prevent this from happening again?"

33 people's lives were wasted on that day and so many more torn apart. So much potential, so many dreams just obliterated. We've lost future leaders and teachers and psychologists and architects---all wasted, their families' and friends' lives just ripped open for nothing. Nothing. And those deaths will continue to mean nothing until we look deeply into the roots that brought them into reality.

An event like this affirms that we really are all one; when one of us goes down the path of darkness, we're all at risk of being dragged along. Mental illness permeates our society and yet we understand it so little and we're often ashamed to even bring it up. And that needs to change. We need to learn to engage these lost and lonely people, not just ignore them. We need to have our antennas up and be ready and willing to reach out to the loners of the world---in whatever way we can. It's much easier to avoid them because they're anti-social and awkward and they have that rather troubling dark cloud hanging over their heads---we don't want to get rained on.

But can we really afford the risk of another hurricane?

Bob Marley Said:

"emancipate yourself from mental slavery. none but ourselves can free our minds." that's great and all, bob, but exactly how are we mentally chained up? and who has the key?

my old friend the tao te jing has one answer: "if you worry about the approval of others, you make yourself their prisoner." when i first read that i thought "ouch. man, i am totally enslaved by like so many people." we all are to some extent because we learn very early on to get a sense of who we are from how others see us. but as we get older, we hopefully start to get that sense from ourselves.

psychologists refer to this as extrinsic worth vs. intrinsic worth. when you have more of the latter, you have greater security and a sense of control in your life. but if you're constantly focused on others' opinions, then your worth is in their hands.

this is not to say that it's not important to care what your friends and family think about you, because their eyes can often be a guiding force in your life. it just means that we need to make sure that the majority of our self worth comes from within, rather than without. otherwise we be jammin' ourselves up wit dat mental slavery crap.

and 'dats one to grow on, mon.